According to statistics, more than 85% of the world’s population suffer from low self-esteem. It’s completely normal to have times when you’re feeling down, unloved, or think negatively about yourself. However, when these thoughts keep lingering at the back of your mind and never go away–this is where problems such as depression and anxiety start to arise.
Self-esteem isn’t just about believing in yourself because if it were, you wouldn’t have the mind-boggling statistics that we previously mentioned. It’s more about believing in your abilities and motivating yourself to carry them on to reach your goals and live a flourishing life.
Welcome to SnapReads. Today, we’ve rounded up a list of ways you can overcome low self-esteem.
Daring Greatly
by Brene Brown
⏱ 18 minutes reading time
🎧 Audio version available
Low self-esteem is when individuals feel like they’re unworthy, incompetent, and incapable of doing anything successfully. They often criticize and judge themselves so hard that they destroy their confidence even more. They feel inferior to others and might not even put any effort into anything they do since they think they aren’t competent enough. And whether they realize it or not, it will affect and determine their life choices to a great extent in the present and future.
Just like any problem in this world has a root, the same goes for low self-esteem. No one is born with it; it happens due to experiences and obstacles that life throws in their way. One of the most common causes that affect people from a young age is having disapproving parents. No matter how hard they try, their parents won’t hesitate to criticize their every move. With such parents, it will become harder and harder to feel confident in yourself. Trauma is another prominent cause that profoundly impacts self-esteem, making one think that everything is their fault when it isn’t.
These real-life scenarios are just the tip of the iceberg; hundreds of other reasons can cause this problem. Luckily though, low self-esteem is not a permanent problem, and you can combat and overcome it–and, believe us, it will completely change your life.
Tame Your Inner Critic
Your inner dialogue can either be one of two things; it can uplift and empower you into achieving what you want, or it can criticize you until you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. That inner critic self-sabotages you so much that it can hold you back from achieving your goals, even if you previously knew that you were capable of doing so.
You can’t move forward in life when you have a non-stop dialogue in the back of your mind that always tells you that you’re not worth other people’s time, you’re not good enough, and you’ll never make it. If you are one of these people who have a toxic inner dialogue, you’re not alone. There are millions of people out there who feel the same way, and there are also millions of people who were able to stop listening to that inner critic and stopped being a victim of their verbal abuse.
According to a study, humans have around 6,200 thoughts every single day. It’s on you whether you want these thoughts to build you up or tear you down. Pay to your thoughts, and once you feel a negative idea bubbling, nip it in the butt. You might think that your thoughts are always right, but the reality is, your thoughts can lie to you. For example, you might think that you will never pass an upcoming exam when the truth is that you’re capable of passing it with flying colors. Change that negative thought with realistic thoughts, such as, if you study hard enough, you will pass that exam.
Let Yourself Make Mistakes
The fact that everyone makes mistakes is one that no one can deny. Everyone does it, but the way you deal with these mistakes is what defines you. Overthinking about an error for hours upon hours will do nothing but decrease your self-trust and lowers your self-esteem. While it’s completely fine to make mistakes, beating yourself over these mistakes isn’t okay.
Mistakes don’t define your self-worth or value, and since there’s no denying that you’ll be making more than you anticipate in a lifetime, the approach you take to these mistakes is what counts. Own the error instead of running away from it or beating yourself over it, find a solution to fix it, and learn from it so that history doesn’t repeat itself.
Help Other People
Helping others is one of the minor things that can give you a sense of purpose. The act of giving back doesn’t just fix low self-esteem; it also gives you a boost of happiness and fulfillment overall. It’s safe to say that there isn’t a better feeling in the world than having someone thank you from the bottom of their heart.
The feeling you get from helping others is so important that scientists have coined it ‘helper’s high.’ Helping others is almost like an instinct that’s rooted inside all of us, so by doing that, the body releases endorphins–the same hormone that gets released when you eat chocolate or exercise. It’s a win-win situation; it’ll help your overall mental health, and at the same time, it will also help the receiver.
Make Some Changes
Often, there are some things in life that you have no control over. And just like these things exist, there are also others that you have complete control over. Take procrastination as an example; it’s entirely within reach of hand to change that habit. Start slowly by setting realistic but small goals for yourself, and always remember that slow and steady wins the race. As life and time go by, you will start to pick up on the positive improvements in your life, which in return will help you overcome low self-esteem.
Try New Things
The majority of people who suffer from low self-esteem often feel incompetent. The constant thought that they will never be able to achieve certain things always stays with them. The good news is, you can overcome the feeling of incompetency by trying new things. You can do anything that you’ve never attempted before, whether it’s something small like going ice skating or something adrenaline-pumping such as skydiving. With every experience that you gain from doing something new, your confidence level will increase with time until you reach a point where it’s only logical to believe that you’re capable of doing anything you set your mind to.
Identify The Positives in Yourself
I think we can all admit that it’s extremely easy to only focus on our flaws and negatives. As for people who suffer from low self-esteem, these flaws are all they think about, and it gets so overwhelming that it’s rare to find them thinking about the positive things about themselves. Luckily, identifying the positives in yourself and having a positive opinion about yourself can be cultivated.
In the beginning, when you feel like you can’t find anything positive about yourself no matter how hard you try, start by writing down a list of positive things that are simple. These things might be obvious ones like painting and playing sports, and if you feel like there’s none, try to remember good things that people have said about you. Once you have written down the positives, look back at these things and remember that these are just meaningful thoughts whenever you feel worthless.
Related: The Power of Silence: Why Silent People Are Successful
Develop Positive Relationships
Humans are social creatures; therefore, building relationships with people is essential to one’s well-being. But, you might find that some people will make you feel better about yourself while others will leave you feeling completely drained.
Identify what each relationship brings you; if a relationship feels toxic and draining, avoid them at all costs. On the contrary side of the spectrum, if a relationship brings you happiness, most definitely pursue those relationships.
Be Kind To Yourself
Just like the idea of criticizing someone you love sounds revolting, the concept of blaming yourself should also scare you. Treat yourself the same way you would treat your loved ones. Accept that it’s okay not to be perfect and practice self-compassion. It’s going to be challenging at first, but you will get used to it as time passes. Always remember that imperfection is embedded within the DNA of humans, and there’s just no way around it.
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