For those of us who are continually putting the needs of others first, practicing self-love is something that is far too often ignored.
You may feel like your needs aren’t all that important, or that caring for yourself is a selfish thing to do. In reality, though, practicing self-love is one of the most important keys to health, happiness, and success and a vital part of caring for others.
We’ll look at how to practice self-love by discussing ways to give yourself the care and attention you need to thrive in this demanding world.
Start Your Day With Positive Affirmations
A positive affirmation is an uplifting and motivational message that you repeat aloud to eventually convince your subconscious mind that it is true. For example, you may start the morning by repeating a positive affirmation such as, “I am a productive and capable person, and I will accomplish my goals today.” Of course, this is just one example, and positive affirmations can come in many different forms.
When you repeat something aloud enough times, though, you’ll eventually start to believe it at a subconscious level – and genuinely believing positive things about yourself is a massive step toward loving yourself better.
A New Earth
by Eckhart Tolle
⏱ 12 minute reading time
🎧 Audio version available
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is a part of human nature that has been around since the beginning. In the age of social media, though, where everyone carefully curates only the best (and often misleading) aspects of their lives to communicate to the world, comparing yourself to others can be an especially harmful activity.
If you feel as if you aren’t as happy or successful or fulfilled as everyone else in your social circle, it’s essential to realize that everyone else you know likely feels the same way. If you want to truly love yourself and the life that you’ve been given, learning that no life is perfect and avoid comparing yourself to others is a critical first step.
Practice Meditation
Meditation is an activity that offers a wide range of physical and mental benefits, with stress reduction being one of the most well-known things that you can accomplish through meditation. Since practicing self-love often centers around taking time to unwind, relax, and let go of stress, meditation is a great way to practice self-love.
Today, there are a variety of resources that you can use to get started with meditation, including apps that you can download that will guide you through the process. However, all you do is set aside time to focus on your breathing and clear your mind. Simply doing this for a few minutes each day can have a profound effect on your mental state.
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End Toxic Relationships
It isn’t easy to love yourself if you surround yourself with people who don’t love you as they should. Few things can drain a person’s energy, self-esteem, and love for themselves like toxic relationships. Whether it’s a friend, a romantic partner, or a family member, any toxic relationships you have must be ended to grow as a person.
It’s important to note, though, what does and does not qualify as a toxic relationship. Every relationship has its bumps, and no one person is perfect. There will be challenges with your relationships that need to be overcome, and these challenges don’t inherently mean that the relationship needs to be ended.
Instead, toxic relationships are relationships with people who intentionally tear you down and make you feel like less than you are rather than building you up and helping you along your journey.
It’s easy to define a toxic relationship, even if it might be difficult to accept. As hard as ending a relationship can be, though, moving past toxic relationships and committing to only surrounding yourself with positive, uplifting people is an absolute necessity on the path to self-love.
Treat Others With Love
The Golden Rule states that you should treat others how you want to be treated yourself. It’s a command that can be found in almost all religions and considered across the world as essential to being a good person.
In many cases, people who struggle with loving themselves often have no problem showing love to others. Nevertheless, even if you are already a caring and loving person to those you come in contact with, putting a little more emphasis on treating others with love is never going to hurt.
When you treat others with gentleness and love, you can typically expect to receive and feel more love in return. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case, as toxic relationships will still exist and will always need to be avoided. But going out of your way to show love to everyone one else will make it easier to love yourself even if there are times when that love is unrequited.
Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude
Happiness isn’t some goal that you achieve or some status that you acquire. It doesn’t come from success or material possession or even from the perfect relationship. Instead, happiness is a mindset that you can choose.
No matter where you are in life or what your life looks like, there is always so much to be grateful for – and for every reason you have to be thankful, there’s a reason to be happy. Sadly, far too many people trudge through life chasing happiness without ever taking the time to stop and take stock of just how much they already have to be grateful for.
As often as possible, pause and reflect on your life. Count your blessings, so to speak, and think about just how fortunate you are to have them. These blessings could be your health, the friends and family that love you, or even the fact that there is a roof over your head and food in your refrigerator. Remember that there are a significant number of people in the world who don’t have these same blessings, and even they can certainly find plenty of reasons to be grateful.
When you reach the point that you can be truly grateful for all of the things you’ve been given, then loving yourself and your life will come naturally. After all, life is a miraculous gift, unlike any other, even if it is confounding or challenging at times.
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Indulge Your Passions
As children, we are born into a world of passion and dreams, and the fact that these passions so often don’t survive into adulthood is one of our society’s biggest pitfalls. Far too often, people will allow their passions to erode little by little as the world replaces them with materialistic concerns. We’re told that pursuing our passions isn’t essential and funneled into unfulfilling jobs that offer little more than their income.
Working hard to pursue financial stability is, of course, an essential part of surviving in the modern world and achieving an enjoyable life, but clinging to your passions and continuing to indulge them even when society tells you they aren’t necessary is essential as well.
Perhaps you weren’t able to make a career out of doing what you love. Not everyone is so fortunate, though it’s never too late to try. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to give up your passions entirely. Indulge them, and enjoy them to their fullest, whatever those passions might be. Even in our progress and the productivity-oriented world, you may be surprised to see just how far following your passions can take you.
Live a Healthy Lifestyle
Loving yourself is much easier when you live a healthy lifestyle. While exercising and eating a healthy diet won’t necessarily give you the body you’ve always dreamed of – though it very well might – it will certainly help you come to better love the body you have.
When you give your body the things it needs to thrive, the mind and soul thrive. All three need to be healthy and well-nourished for you to practice self-love fully.
Don’t Be Afraid to Put Yourself First
There is something to be said for being a selfless person who puts the needs of others first. Such people are exceedingly rare and exceedingly valued by everyone around them. However, while being a selfless person is certainly something to strive for, you cannot ignore your own needs. Sometimes, you will need to put yourself first
In the process of caring for everyone around you, make sure that you are caring for your own needs as well. Take time for yourself, and learn when to say no. With effort and focus, it is possible to find a healthy balance between putting yourself first and putting others first that will enable you to live the fullest, most rewarding life possible.
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