Office politics seem almost impossible to navigate. Most of the time, you don’t know what to do. You feel the pressure during the actual confrontation. The next morning, you feel another potential, tension-filled interaction coming up. It’s even worse when the situation lies with your boss rather than one of your coworkers. What should you do when one of these moments arises? And more than that, how to walk away from that conversation and be the one to come out on top?
The 5 Second Rule
by Mel Robbins
⏱ 11 minutes reading time
🎧 Audio version available
Challenging Situation #1: Someone Takes Credit For Your Work
In a perfect world, everyone gives credit where it’s due. Unfortunately, not everyone has the same morals as you. Other than outright theft, it could happen in ways you didn’t expect. You could propose an idea at a meeting and have it turned down– only to have a coworker reword your idea and take credit when it’s accepted. While you reel back in shock, this coworker gets all the praise for your effort. How can you face this situation head-on?
It’s one of those things you should act upon immediately. Experts recommend saying something like “Thank you for spotlighting my point” and to say it with composure. A calm demeanor helps you reclaim your idea and get the upper hand when addressing superiors involved. And when you deliver your statement in front of others, this grants you a great opportunity for ownership of your idea. How? By offering more details that your credit-stealing coworkers won’t be able to.
But sometimes, it’s your own boss who takes credit for your work. You may not have noticed first. Everyone wants to impress their boss, and when they seem to love your ideas, you’re on cloud nine– up until you discover they’ve been playing them as their own to their higher-ups.
It takes some maneuvering to handle such a situation. Unlike your coworker, you want to handle this with extra care. The trick to getting your boss to acknowledge you may be just stroking their ego. Consider saying something along the lines of asking them for help in how to present your ideas to others. If you’re a little bolder, consider saying along the lines of “I’m always happy to know that you present some of my best ideas to others.”
Flattery accompanied with a polite and non-threatening way opens the door to getting your point across.
Challenging Situation #2: Your Coworker Is Distracting You
Everyone has a story about that one annoying person at their office. There comes a point when your cubicle mate’s annoying habits or lack of boundaries get so irritating that it affects your work performance. What to do then?
It depends on the level of annoyance your rude/inconsiderate coworker provides to you. Examples of such behavior include constantly speaking using the speaker, having no boundaries and going through your things– even outright reading from over your shoulder; they could also interrupt your conversation without invitation. Basically, this person’s behavior needs to be dealt with, otherwise, you feel like you’re about to snap.
The trick to facing this challenging situation without, well, snapping, is doing the exact of that. The solution is in your ability to diplomatically remain calm, cool, and collected. Otherwise? Well, you may just give said coworkers the chance to turn things around on you because they feel too defensive.
Before the “big approach” comes, take a moment; take a deep breath, and then make one promise: you’re going to come out triumphant, but first, you’re going to be the bigger person– and you’re going to keep any comments to yourself until you get home.
Calm, cool, collected, and non-accusatory is the tone to you. Bring up how much you like being their coworkers and cube-mate. Tell them you’ve found yourself a little distracted with an upcoming assignment, especially when the speakerphone’s sound is playing loudly. What you did is shift the focus of the accusation, highlighting your own distraction and stress instead of their bad habits.
Challenging Situation #3 A Coworker Tries to Bring Up Politics/Religion
As a general rule of thumb, discussions about politics and religion are best kept out of the office. So what do you do if a coworker tries to bring you into a heated discussion nevertheless?
These discussions tend to almost always turn overly heated– and that animosity can affect relationships and healthy office dynamics, as well as potentially offend someone.
Sometimes, the best way to come out on top of a situation like this is to avoid the situation entirely. If someone tries to engage in topics you’re uncomfortable with or asks your opinion, the best thing to walk away triumphant can be broken into two things to say:
Number one is saying something neutral so as to not offend anyone involved before leaving the conversation and walking away.
Number two is not walking away, but attempting to shift the topic somewhere else.
Challenging Situation #4 Office Gossip
The term “gossiping by the water cooler” has some truth to it. Almost every office has its designated gossipers. What’s the thing to do if someone tries to invite you to participate in one of these water cooler office gossiping sessions?
Believe it or not, but how you handle this can have a long-lasting effect on your relationships with your coworkers. There is potential for drama. Gossip, while oftentimes tempting, is almost always ill-advised. As juicy as that tidbit of news may be, gossip has the potential to hurt someone’s feelings and alienate them; it can lose others’ trust in you, and it can backfire on you.
Steer the conversation away from the gossip if someone tries to share it with you. You want to think about what ias gossip. Humans are social creatures. Communication, especially in the workplace, is a vital part of making anything run smoothly. Whenever you find yourself part of a toxic conversation and tempted to join in, ask yourself “does this need to be said?” and “do I know this person’s side of the story?” “Is this information 100% true?” and so on.
If the answers to these questions are “no,” you need to walk away from such toxicity. Pick your words wisely. Either stay silent during the gossip or since you can’t break ties with a colleague who’s a notorious gossipmonger, it’s always handy to have an excuse to leave the conversation. Remember, if you have nothing nice to say, walk away.
Challenging Situation #5 You Have A New, Entitled Coworker
When you signed those dotted lines to accept your dream job, you never expected that some time later, you would have this problem on your hands: an entitled coworker you don’t know how to deal with.
Such is the problem with “newbies.” Some coworkers want to jump straight ahead to the more desirable tasks and skip ahead of the more tedious, everyday tasks. If you have no idea how to delicately approach a sensitive situation, here’s how to do it skillfully.
Again, we want to avoid the person becoming defensive, which will potentially unmake any progress you’ve made with them.
You want to start by being relatable and encouraging– but to a certain extent. Tell them that you can see they’re going to do great things at the company. Tell them that they even remind you of yourself when you were their age and position. Acknowledging their skill and enthusiasm can put them at ease– and ease their defensiveness. Then you can lead the conversation towards how– right now– they need to focus on their duties in order to learn all there is to one day become an even greater asset.
Referencing their skill and future, and with such gentle phrasing, makes them pliable to what you’re saying. At the end of the day, people do things for their own self-interest or reasons, not yours. To reach them, to persuade them, tie the conversation in with their goals and wants with the outcome you desire.
Challenging Situation #6 Your Boss Gives You Too Much Work
Challenging situation number six is also known as your boss makes you do their job for them. At the start, when your boss suggests giving you more responsibility, you’re overjoyed at gaining their trust and admiration.
However, red flags rise when they start asking you if you would mind doing a task on their behalf– never mind that they may present it as their own effort, the trick to navigating that was mentioned at the start of this guide.
Find comfort in the fact that bosses aren’t infallible. For as many good bosses out there, there are an equal amount of selfish ones. If the thought of your reputation of being an easy-going team player fading makes you hesitate, and if it comforts you more, remember that you’re doing the job of two people but only getting paid for one.
Enter…the art of saying “no.” If you can’t get out the desired outcome by giving hints, schedule a meeting with your boss to review your work description.
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