Wasn’t it Henry David Thoreau who said “Goodness is the only investment that never fails?”
Everyone’s definition of “goodness” is different. If you ask five different people about what being a good person means to them and why they do, you’ll have five different answers on your hands. Besides being for the sake of, well, being good, are there any other benefits to it? And when you start thinking that it’s kindness isn’t rewarded, come back to this and you’ll see why it is.
The Road to Character
by David Brooks
⏱ 14 minutes reading time
🎧 Audio version available
It Gives You a Sense of Purpose
For one thing, being a good person– or embarking on the journey to become better– has this amazing, rejuvenating effect of giving you a one of a kind sense of purpose. There is nothing quite like that rush when you commit an act of kindness– a rush that has a scientific name, actually.
Actions are always accompanied by one of two things: a sense of accomplishment– or a sense of regret.
When you strive for kindness and practice it daily, the more good things you’ll accomplish in your life, and the fewer regrets you may have.
You’ll also find that goodness is linked to a sense of control. Who said being “good” meant you had to have a weak or meek personality? If anything, an incredible amount of people reported that being good has given them a sense of control they didn’t have before when they were more aimless.
Let us give you an example. You’re in a confrontation. You’re trying to be the better person, but the other person just keeps on pushing your buttons. Resentment rises in you, your temper is on the brink of boiling over; you’re on the brink of losing it…suddenly, you feel it. A calmness dawns on you.
Instead of feeling like you’re losing control– control of the conversation, control of your temper, yourself, you’ll find yourself secure in the knowledge that no one should be able to control your mood. Don’t they say “Kill ‘em with kindness?”
It Earns Respect
Another thing that pays off when you’re a good, kind-hearted person is earning respect. Believe it or not, but more doors open your way when you are consistently kind.
And kindness equals respect in a lot of ways, and the respect of others equals more opportunities. See how the chain of events works? People in your life will trust you more. Coworkers will admire you. Soon enough, your pure reputation will speak volumes, even to people who have never met you. This also means you have a positive influence on the lives of those around you.
Some people think they can find shortcuts to life. In the movies, it works, right? Being bad or immoral pays off eventually, especially when you can get away with it. In reality, bad is just that: bad.
It’s an insult, a disrespect to yourself to strive to be immoral. Because you know what? Being moral is absolutely necessary for having self-respect. So by being a good person, you’re also earning not only respect from others, but securing it for yourself.
You’ll Be Happier
The key to happiness has been there all along. What you put out into the world comes back to you. If you’re good, you will be rewarded with kindness and happiness.
See, what happens when you’re at peace with yourself and others is that you’re eventually able to take good care of yourself. Let go of notions of being selfless or selfish. You’re just able to look after your own self better.
Again, being good is accompanied by a lot of things. For one thing, it comes with passion. You choose what to be passionate about. You choose your wants and needs. And you decide how to get them in a way that benefits everyone, making you stronger and happier.
Being good also comes with being courageous, with being brave. In this modern day and age, it actually takes considerable effort to go against the grain, to stand up against injustice, danger, and social rejection. So in some cases, it’s an active rebellion to choose to speak the truth and stay true to yourself. But once you do, it’s insanely rewarding.
It’s Good For Your Health
If nothing will push you to be on your best behavior than this, few things will. Stay tuned for the last reason that is bound to convince you!
It actually is not just mentally healthy for you to practise being a good person. It affects your entire body. How so? Let’s see.
Kindness boosts your immune system, that’s one thing. Oxytocin, also called the love hormone or feel-good hormone, is a hormone that your brain produces a little more when you’re kind to others. The benefits of oxytocin are a mile long. It reduces inflammation, which is linked to all sorts of diseases and conditions, including but not limited to diabetes, chronic pain, obesity, and migraines. Oxytocin also lowers your blood pressure.
It’s also good for your heart! That red organ pumping inside your ribcage, your lifeline, all it needs is a little kindness to be noticeably healthier. Oxytocin also expands your blood vessels, hence another of its nicknames, the cardioprotective hormone.
Believe it or not, but even the simple act of writing a nice note can boost those levels of oxytocin we were just talking about. Whether that’s dedicated to a friend or family member, your immune system, blood pressure, and heart will thank you!
More Career Opportunities Will Rise
You always hear advice such as “you can only rely on yourself” or “it’s every man for himself.” However, the world would be a lot better if everyone stopped believing in these statements.
Did you know that the simple act of being kind can produce a phenomenon known as the “helper’s high?” Not unlike a “runner’s high,” you feel a surge of energy, bliss, and inner peace following a selfless service to others. This concept became popular back in the 1980s and has been studied and confirmed in multiple studies since. Better health and increased longevity are linked to this concept.
The cherry on top of this cake is that your career can also benefit! Studies have shown that coworkers or managers that are seen as “nice” or agreeable are associated with increased professional success, as well as, of course, stronger relationships, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
Strive to be a good person. You never know when it’s going to help you make a phenomenal first impression or receive a recommendation. It also makes it either to ask for help and for others to help you.
It Strengths Your Relationships
You’re not just known as the super nice person at work. The extent of being genuinely nice and kind to others deeply strengthens all your relationships– or at least, those that count.
The nicer you are to people, the more they like and trust you. And the more they’re likely to feel comfortable around you and will want to talk to you more, and return or offer favors.
If nothing else, it helps start relationships as well. A lot of people feel the often debilitating effects of social anxiety. A trick to help you get through a disastrous attempt of small talk is falling back on your good nature.
Don’t be afraid that you’re going to say the wrong thing or that you’re going to clam up. Instead, think about the other person, what they might be feeling or going through, and try to brighten their day. They’ll never forget that act of kindness. Those who matter will notice your effort.
That means that kindness pays back. It helps you build networks of people– people that you’re going to need at some point; people who will share your burdens; people who you will support; people who will love you and vice versa. Don’t forget: people who feel like they belong in a group tend to live longer and face lower risks of heart diseases. They also experience less anxiety and lower chances of depression.
It Makes You More Attractive
No matter how attractive you are at this very moment, you’re infinitely more attractive when you’re perceived as a good person. It’s science. One study chose to put this to the test. They gathered a random group of men and women and asked them to rate and judge the attractiveness of 60 photos. All photos feature expressionless female faces straight off Google.
This experiment’s purpose was to study the phenomenon of, to put it in a nutshell, seeing a seemingly attractive person whose attractiveness dramatically decreases the moment they opened their mouths and said something rude or did something rude.
Two weeks later, the participants were brought back and were told to rate the pictures once again. However, this time, the researchers gave them personality descriptors. They described some of the pictures as “decent” and “honest” and others as “mean,” “hostile,” and “evil.”
Lo and behold, during the first rating, there wasn’t a significant difference in the rates among the groups. But with the second rating, the group given positive traits received higher traits than those with negative personality descriptors. So the good people were rated as the most attractive at the end of the day.
At the end of the day, being a good person is a good decision. And it’s a decision you have to make on your own. However, now that you know the full benefits and effects of your behavior– both on yourself and on others. What’s your definition of being a good person?
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