Life is a journey, and during this journey there will undoubtedly be highs and lows, difficulties and challenges, uncertainties and mistakes.
What truly matters, however, is remembering that we have to see this journey through in order to fulfill our dreams and realize our aspirations. Navigating the crisscrossing pathways of life is an art – and as with any art, it has to be learned, developed, and honed to perfection.
Any and everyone can learn to live their best life, whether it is through financial independence, fulfilling romantic relationships, or constructive social interactions. Meaningful and long-lasting personal change, however, cannot be achieved unless you begin your journey by introspectively examining your internal monologue, values, and beliefs, and then converting them into tangible action.
In this article, we’re going to guide you through the various steps you need to take to truly pursue personal development and fulfillment – step-by-step.
the power of habit
by Charles Duhigg
⏱ 15 minutes reading time
🎧 Audio version available
Break Away From The Cycle of Disappointment
Everyone wants to better themselves and succeed in life, but knowing where and how to start on your journey towards self-realization can feel overwhelming. Life isn’t just blindly following some pre-determined path into a fate we have no control over, but instead forging a path of our own making for ourselves.
There’s an incredibly effective concept we can bring into our lives to achieve our true potential, and that is by striving for a small win, every day. The foundation of this concept is the science of continuous improvement, through which we can learn to flourish and become the most authentic and fulfilled versions of ourselves.
There is no doubt that everyone has experienced this scenario at some point in our lives; we’re suddenly inspired by some unexpected event or revelation to completely change our circumstances, but in a matter of weeks, or perhaps even days, the burning flame of determination and enthusiasm flickers and splutters to a disappointing end.
For a while, we resume our usual routines, until the second wave of inspiration comes and goes, and then the third, the fourth, and so on. It becomes a fruitless endeavor, and as the months and years drag by, we’ve barely introduced any meaningful change into our lives. It can be demotivating and frustrating, but it is essential that we understand that the problem is not that we can’t do it; it’s that we’re not going about it in the right way.
Set Simple and Daily Goals
Attempting any radical and drastic transformation will ultimately end in failure. Personal development is a universally desired and coveted dream, and yet it seems impossible to attain.
Worthwhile progress can only be made once we learn how to disembark from this emotional roller-coaster, once you begin with feelings of optimism and hope, but by the end, you’re left with nothing but the bitter taste of disappointment and pessimism on your tongue – only for the ride to begin all over again.
It’s for this reason that the rule of working towards a small goal or achievement every day is a powerful and illuminating guiding light, which promises salvation to those who have become lost in the tumultuous and bewildering ocean of personal development.
The reason why our previous efforts fail is that we try to change too much too quickly, and once the enormity of what we have assigned ourselves dawns upon us, we quickly become discouraged and disheartened. Adopting a method of continuous improvement is a surprisingly simple solution to this long-standing and frustrating dilemma.
Realise That You Can Achieve Anything
Benjamin Franklin once said, “little strokes fell great oaks”. Rather than attempting to transform your life all at once, you should instead introduce small and gentle changes every day that will gradually result in the realization of your dreams and aspirations.
At the beginning, one small win may not seem like much, and there’s every chance that achieving the initial wins won’t necessarily make much of an apparent difference at first. However, the effect of these changes will start to accumulate over time.
One of the most empowering things you will ever learn about yourself is that you already have everything you need within you to transform your life, it’s just having the wisdom to access and apply your raw potential.
It’s one of those little-known secrets that no one talks about – with sacrifice and perseverance you can achieve absolutely anything. By making deliberate and decisive choices, you can achieve free agency and complete control over your life.
Transform Your Life Step By Step
Change is never easy, and to be wary of, or exhausted by, the thought of change is an intrinsic and completely expected response. It is for this reason that mastering the art of continuous improvement, and working towards a small victory every day, mitigates the challenges associated with trying to do too much at once.
Something that was once a singular and intimidating ravine separating you from your dreams becomes a series of stepping-stones you can take one at a time to reach the other side. Moving an entire mountain at once is impossible, but it is possible to carry each stone that mountain is made from, one by one.
Over time, the influence of this continuous improvement will become increasingly powerful. Each stepping stone you land on and mountain rock you move is a victory and a reason for celebration in its own right. With this positive reinforcement, you will be encouraged to keep going, and as the momentum begins to build, you’ll realize you can take increasingly bigger actions; ones that would have intimidated you in the beginning.
Recognise That This is a Lifelong Pursuit
With this approach, it is the means that truly matters rather than the end. Throughout your journey, you’ll realize the insights and lessons you learn along the way are worth so much more than the ambition or goal you originally aspired too.
We all have the potential within us, it’s just that we have never had the opportunity to learn how to use it. We’ve had to face challenges and pitfalls as they come up, rather than being prepared in advance.
The mind is an extraordinarily powerful tool; with guidance, it has the potential to become the key you have searched for all your life. One of the most transformative and astonishing breakthroughs you will make is the realization that you, yourself, are all that you need in order to live the life that you have always dreamed of.
By continuously searching for ways to flourish and thrive, you will be capable of achieving whatever you want in life – just by improving yourself, with one small win, every day.
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