{"id":3749,"date":"2021-08-31T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-31T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/snapreads.com\/magazine\/?p=3749"},"modified":"2024-01-14T21:16:02","modified_gmt":"2024-01-15T02:16:02","slug":"how-to-influence-people-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/snapreads.com\/magazine\/how-to-influence-people-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Psychological Tricks to Influence People and Make Them Say Yes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you want your superpower to be the ability to influence people, then stay tuned! The ability to be incredibly persuasive can be invaluable no matter where you work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contrary to popular belief, it\u2019s not an innate skill. Anyone, as long as they learn the right steps, can be just as– if not more– persuasive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"Influence<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n
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Influence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

by Robert Cialdini<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u23f1 14 minutes reading time<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\udfa7 Audio version available<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Get the key ideas on Snapreads<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Buy on Amazon<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Expect Refusal the First Time<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s start with a tried and true method of persuading people to say yes to a request. According to Stanford University, people are more likely to feel uncomfortable refusing someone repeatedly. That means they may not mind refusing the first time, but the second? That\u2019s when you work your charm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, approach them first with a request you don\u2019t mind them saying no to. Later on, approach them with a different request, perhaps one that involves less effort than the first. The person is likely to say yes to the second request because a) it takes less energy and b) they may harbor some guilt because they feel they let you down the first time and want to make up for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use More Persuasive Words<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The vocabulary you use when trying to convince someone of something matters a great deal, especially if you want them to do something for you. The trick is wording your request as if it\u2019s not a request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being charming has a large role in this. When you\u2019re talking to someone, a resume and your impressive accomplishments will only get you so far. People have to actually like what you\u2019re saying in order to be influenced by you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say you approach someone with a sales pitch, for example. And their answer is interested but not super enthused. It\u2019s up to you to influence this decision. Ask them if they would instead consider something else or if they would be willing <\/em>to consider this. Adding a certain willingness to your question dramatically increases the odds of a positive response. See, when you add this sort of phrasing, instead of focusing on a person\u2019s preferences, you\u2019re focusing on who they are as a person and their character.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Give Them Something to Gain<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

People are infinitely more likely to do something you want if your request is framed in such a way that shows them what they stand to gain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is negotiation 101. Make sure they feel like they\u2019re profiting too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u201cBut You Are Free\u201d Method<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The \u201cBut You Are Free\u201d method is one that\u2019s been tested in 42 psychology<\/a> studies on over 22,000 people, and it works wonderfully. It\u2019s a technique for being more persuasive and for doubling your chances of someone agreeing to what you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It goes like this: approach the person with your request, and end the sentence by telling them they should only do this if they want–as in they\u2019re \u201cfree\u201d to refuse. What this method does is indirectly show the person you\u2019re trying to influence that you\u2019re not trying to impose on them or threaten their ability to say no; instead, you are firmly reassuring them of their freedom of choice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They end up feeling empowered and on your side. It\u2019s best to use this method in moderation, lest you end up sounding passive aggressive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Delivery is Everything<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The way you deliver your request counts in how people are influenced by you and how they\u2019ll respond. You want to speak fairly quickly and clearly. See, when you speak too slowly, or fumble for words, you\u2019re hurting your own effect and giving the other person a chance to nit-pick your argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, when you speak rather quickly– or find a healthy balance, you want to give the other enough time to hear you, but not enough to focus on nit-picking. Chances are that they\u2019ll be too busy trying to process if they agree or not to interrupt you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And at the end of the day, you\u2019re perceived as more confident, which helps you seem more persuasive. You\u2019re also perceived as knowledgeable, trustworthy, and charismatic. Even if they don\u2019t realize why, people will want to get your approval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Create a Sense of Loss and Urgency<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Or to put it into more modern terms, create a sense of FOMO– aka, the fear of missing out. You might think putting a sense of urgency in your request would make it less appealing, but you are actually increasing your chances of influencing that person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a typical marketing scheme. For example, when a store offers limited sales and such, which pushes customers to hurry to buy these products before others get there first. This technique isn\u2019t limited to selling products. You can apply this to your interactions where you need to convince someone to do something for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say you approach a co-worker with a request, help hurry their agreement by adding a time limit. This urgency may be the little push needed to help them reach a decision. This immediate need and a deadline at their heels add a certain– healthy– sense of guilt. Guilt, even a tiny amount of it that results from fear of letting someone down, can make people want to do the right thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make It About Them<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you want to influence someone to do something for you, then the key may not be showing off your <\/em>accomplishments or highlighting your education and career. A lot of people may not see those as enough of a reason to be influenced by you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, make it all about the person you\u2019re in front of. People generally love it when they\u2019re asked about themselves and what they want. The best influencers are the ones that start from here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Making people feel important, praising them, remembering their interests, and generally chatting with them, goes a long way towards helping them connect with you and thus, being more easily influenced by you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember Their Names<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Persuasion 101? Remember the person\u2019s name. Yes, it can be difficult to remember a person\u2019s name when you first meet them, especially if you\u2019re meeting with several new clients in a row.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remembering the person\u2019s name and casually slipping it into the conversation makes the person feel acknowledged and important. In the iconic, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, he says, \u201cRemember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find Common Ground<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You may lose your argument before you even get started if you start on polarizing ground. It\u2019s important to find something in common with the person in order to help them relate to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Follow that by easing into the more difficult subject or request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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