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{"id":2814,"date":"2021-04-19T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-19T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/snapreads.com\/magazine\/?p=2814"},"modified":"2023-05-08T08:45:08","modified_gmt":"2023-05-08T12:45:08","slug":"how-to-accept-death-as-a-part-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/snapreads.com\/magazine\/how-to-accept-death-as-a-part-of-life\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Talk About Death Even If We Feel Uncomfortable (and Why That Matters)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Talking about death is one of the most difficult conversations a person can have. It\u2019s safe to say that the majority of people think about death fairly regularly, and yet, this topic is usually avoided at all costs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s extremely difficult to accept other people\u2019s mortality, let alone our own. But, it\u2019s equally important to have this conversation while there\u2019s still time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, we are going to take a look at how to talk about death<\/a> even if we feel uncomfortable and why it is so important to talk about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"how<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n
\n

Being Mortal<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

by Atul Gawande<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u23f1 13 minutes reading time<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\udfa7 Audio version available<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n
Get the key ideas on Snapreads<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Buy on Amazon<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Death is inevitable; there\u2019s no way around it– which is what makes this topic so difficult to talk about. We\u2019ve all experienced the death of a loved one, whether it\u2019s a close family member, relative, or friend. The topic of death brings up complicated emotions that we try to stay away from. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to statistics, 35% of people don\u2019t feel comfortable talking about death. Yet, the majority of people who experience the death of a loved one talk about how they wish they had had more open conversations with the dying person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But why do people find it so difficult to talk about death?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the perspective of someone who lost a loved one, being in denial about their loss is one of the main reasons they might not want to talk about death. It is, in fact, the first stage of grief; it\u2019s like a shield or a wall that a person puts up in order to protect themselves from their loss. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fear of loss, which has been coined thanatophobia, is another reason people might avoid talking about death. While it\u2019s completely normal to be anxious when thinking about the loss of someone we love, it gets borderline worrisome when people start to develop symptoms that affect them physically and mentally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

People with thanatophobia experience symptoms ranging from panic attacks and bouts of extreme sadness and persistent worry to physical symptoms such as nausea, stomach pain, sweating, and irregular heartbeats. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oftentimes, people fear saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to say when someone loses a loved one. And, of course, they fear their own mortality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

People who are terminally ill or near death, might not be comfortable talking about death as a result of not wanting to feel like a burden to their family and friends. In addition, they might also think discussing death would be upsetting to their loved ones, so they avoid talking about it altogether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how can we talk about death, even if we feel uncomfortable? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breaking the Ice <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

People who are near death know what the future has in store for them; however, they might avoid talking about death as a result of thinking that their loved ones won\u2019t be able to handle the truth. This can lead to them feeling isolated and not knowing how to reach out to their loved ones in their time of need. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s advised that you talk to a dying person by indirectly mentioning death and seeing if they\u2019re open to talking about it. This can be done by asking if they believe in the afterlife, for example. It\u2019s all about finding a topic that will eventually come around to the subject of death. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also important that you don\u2019t rush this conversation; being open to talking about death is one thing, but feeling pressured to talk about it is completely different. When you\u2019re with a dying person, let them know that you can talk about this topic if\/when they\u2019re ready to do so. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s Okay to Cry <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Crying is the body\u2019s natural response to grieving. And, not only is it okay to cry and express your grief for the life a person is leaving behind, but it\u2019s also okay for the person to know that it\u2019s okay to cry in front of you and to be angry at the situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

People who are dying generally have complicated feelings about it. Be supportive and give them a shoulder to cry on. Make sure they know you are holding space for them to process those feelings, and that you won\u2019t ignore or invalidate them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listen Well <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Being attentive to what a person near death has to say is key to open communication. Be respectful of what they believe happens after death and don\u2019t force your religious or spiritual beliefs on them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let them know that you are there for them to provide the support or comfort that they might need. Try to ask questions that prompt them to tell you about what they\u2019re feeling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t Be Afraid to Laugh <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Laughter\u2019 and \u2018death\u2019 rarely end up in the same sentence. People generally have a solemn expression plastered on their faces when talking about death, and there are times that it\u2019s logical to feel that way. However, given the fact that humor is a part of our lives, it should also be a part of dying. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to research, 85% of people who are in hospice or palliative care initiate humor while talking about death, so why shouldn\u2019t we talk about death with a bit of humor?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just as humor plays a role in helping to talk about death, it also plays an extremely important role in grieving. When we lose a loved one, the last thing we probably feel like doing is smiling or laughing, to the extent where we may feel like we will never smile again. But, laughter is important when it comes to grief, and it has been proven to reduce anxiety and depression in people who experience loss. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

All things considered, the importance of talking about death is something that people often underestimate, because after all, death is a depressing and frightening topic, and there\u2019s always that thought lingering at the back of our minds that, if we talk about death, we might call it to us, like a bad omen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other than the fact that talking about it makes it less scary, why does it matter to talk about death? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It Helps Us Appreciate the Little Things in Life <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When you embrace the idea of death, it allows you to be more present and focused in the moment. We don\u2019t know what the future holds for us, but we know we are right here, right now, so that\u2019s what we should be focusing on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We learn to appreciate the smallest things and live life to the fullest. There\u2019s no guarantee that we will live to see tomorrow, so we learn to stop procrastinating and start doing things we\u2019ve always wanted to do. And, instead of worrying and stressing about obstacles and challenges , we learn to let it go and instead practice gratitude. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether you choose to embrace death or continue to live in fear is completely your choice. What is important is to live in the moment and make every single one of them count. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It Makes Us Stop Worrying About Things <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Worrying about giving a wrong first impression to someone or why your recent date ghosted you are two situations that the vast majority of people have experienced. We tend to worry about the little things, letting that worry consume our thoughts for days– if not months– at a time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Death puts things into perspective. Would you worry about these things if you knew you didn\u2019t have much time left? Would you let these things overwhelm you and drain your energy when you could be out there, enjoying life? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It Prevents Regret<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When you know that the time that we have on earth is limited and accept that thought, you\u2019ll find that you do things differently. We allow ourselves to live more fully and do things that we wouldn\u2019t have done otherwise. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moreover, open conversations about death prevents regret in a way people don\u2019t realize until they\u2019re faced with a tough situation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In cases where a person suddenly becomes so ill or injured that they\u2019re unable to make decisions for themselves, their family will have to make those decisions for them. If death was a topic that was avoided throughout that person\u2019s life, the family won\u2019t know they\u2019re making the decision that the person wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n
\n

What Is Snapreads?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/center>\n\n\n\n

With the Snapreads app, you get the key insights from the best nonfiction books in minutes, not hours or days. Our experts transform these books into quick, memorable, easy-to-understand insights you can read when you have the time or listen to them on the go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start Your Free Trial<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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