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{"id":2730,"date":"2021-03-18T06:00:31","date_gmt":"2021-03-18T10:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/snapreads.com\/magazine\/?p=2730"},"modified":"2023-12-27T22:39:07","modified_gmt":"2023-12-28T03:39:07","slug":"speaking-with-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/snapreads.com\/magazine\/speaking-with-confidence\/","title":{"rendered":"The Surprising Secrets to Speaking With Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If confidence could be bottled up or if it comes in a pill, then millions will line up to take it, but little do they know that the secrets to speaking with confidence are right at their fingertips!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Confidence is one of those traits and skills that we applaud other people for and cringe at their absence in ourselves. Yes, some people are born confident, but for others, it\u2019s a skill that can easily be worked on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, we\u2019re bringing you the surprising secrets to speaking with confidence! Let\u2019s dive right in. These tips will help you improve nearly every area of your life. That promotion you\u2019ve been meaning to talk to your boss about? That crush you\u2019ve been meaning to ask out? A big presentation or performance coming up? Let\u2019s start honing in that confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n
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Blink<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

by Malcolm Gladwell<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u23f1 15 minutes reading time<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83c\udfa7 Audio version available<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Get the key ideas on Snapreads<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Buy on Amazon<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Slow Down<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s one thing you may have noticed about all confident speakers? They don\u2019t ramble a million words per minute, that\u2019s for one. Carmine Gallo, who wrote Talk Like TED, says that the ideal rate of speech whenever you need to speak publicly is about 190 words per minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you slow down to speak at this pace, the people you\u2019re talking to feel like you\u2019re having a conversation with them over a meal more than you\u2019re talking at <\/em>them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Slow down when you\u2019re speaking. In contrast, don\u2019t speak too slowly. If you hesitate too much and speak too slowly, then you risk the person you\u2019re talking to getting bored and disinterested. And hey, here\u2019s another piece of advice! Don\u2019t speak too quickly either. People who speak too quickly come off as nervous and like they don\u2019t know what they\u2019re talking about, so they\u2019re trying to get whatever they\u2019re saying done as fast as possible. Fast speakers also give the impression that they\u2019re insecure or lack self-control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If all of these somewhat contrasting tips confuse you, then follow the first one. 190 words per minute are the way to go. You want to speak with purpose, calmly, and at a relaxed pace. This purposeful manner oozes confidence and gives the impression that you\u2019re in control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Know When to Start Speaking<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Rushing into a conversation is not <\/em>what confident speakers do. It\u2019s the opposite. Maybe it\u2019s the nervousness, but nervous speakers tend to start talking during the same moment the previous person is just finishing speaking– or even moments before. They then later cringe when recalling the awkward moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It goes without saying that you should wait for the person to finish speaking. Don\u2019t start immediately after either. You want to seem interested, not overly eager. You also don\u2019t want the person to feel like you were just waiting for your turn to speak and weren\u2019t listening to them. Aim for waiting for about a second or two after the person finishes speaking before you take over the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you take your time like this, you show that you\u2019re confident, relaxed, and you show the other person that you\u2019re engaged in the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop Using Filler Words<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Filler words include anything from \u201cumm\u201d and \u201cuh\u201d to \u201clike\u201d and \u201cso\u201d and so on. These words are called \u201cfiller\u201d because they take up unnecessary space in the conversation while you\u2019re thinking of what to say next. Unfortunately, filling your conversation with unnecessary words makes you seem like you\u2019re uncertain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the matter is– sometimes you don\u2019t <\/em>know what you want to say next and you need to think a little. So what now? How can you fill the gap in the conversation? The answer is simpler than you think. You fill it with nothing<\/em>. Stop using filler words and let the moment pass in silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next time you need to think over something before speaking, pause. Believe it or not, but these silent pauses actually hold a lot of power as they build up anticipation and tension to suck people in further. Soon enough, people will start hanging off your words, eagerly awaiting the silence to end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Filler words also extend to repeating yourself unnecessarily. And remember what we said about wanting to appear purposeful and ooze confidence? Starting your sentences with phrases such as \u201cSorry,\u201d \u201cI think,\u201d \u201cWell,\u201d \u201cI mean,\u201d \u201cThis is just my opinion,\u201d and empty and negative prefaces such as these only work towards lessening the impact of what you\u2019re saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The solution is practice. Record yourself or have someone record you while speaking. That way, you can notice all these repetitive phrases and empty words. Now, you can switch them with other meaningful words that are more persuasive, which leads us to our next secret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t Put a Question Mark at the End of Your Statements<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Trailing off while saying what should be a statement is not something any confident speaker will do. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, asking for opinion, approval, and wanting to get some missing information. It makes you sound vulnerable, but it\u2019s a necessary risk to take. That said, why extend that vulnerable to when you\u2019re normally speaking or when you\u2019re stating a fact?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trailing off, letting your voice fade away towards the end of a sentence, or letting it creep upward doesn\u2019t exactly project confidence. Your tone should be even and strong. Your statement should be finished with a period<\/em>, not a question mark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some other examples. Say what you want, then be quiet. Don\u2019t trail off or anything. If you\u2019re trying to negotiate something, like a business deal, then present your argument, state all your terms, and be silent. It\u2019s easy to fall back on empty words, apologies, backing away, offering alternatives, and revealing your insecurity when the other person doesn\u2019t respond to what you have just said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re not sure what to do or how long you should wait after saying something, then try counting backward from ten or twenty in your mind. By doing this, you avoid that nervous chatter and meaningless conversations. This is the mark of a pro.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t Be Too Loud<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Somehow, along the line, people started mistaking loudness and raising their voice for confidence when it\u2019s simply not the truth. Speaking loudly isn\u2019t the same. Of course, you should speak loud enough to be heard, but not enough to make that other person walk away with ringing in their ear and say to the friend, \u201cThat guy was really loud, wasn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the invaluable secrets to speaking with confidence is your cadence, which means the rhythm of your voice. Your pitch and cadence portray more than you think. If you want to own the conversation you\u2019re in, your voice should be smooth and in a low pitch. Don\u2019t change the pitch too often from high to low and back again. Steady wins the race.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breathe<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s it. Just breathe<\/em>. As you speak, don\u2019t forget to take slow, deep, steady, and calming breaths. Why? Other than the obvious reasons, this method of breathing ensures that you\u2019re breathing deeply into your stomach and not just through your chest. This results in your voice coming out steady, your body language is relaxed, and not coming off as breathless or unsure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Smile<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Smiling has a dramatic effect on both the speaker and the people they\u2019re speaking to. You know what they say about smiling being contagious. Well, add to that statement that it adds confidence. Make sure to insert a smile every once in a while during the conversation. According to Christine Clapp, who\u2019s a public speaking expert at George Washington University, \u201cSmiling not only makes your voice more pleasant to listen to, it also conveys confidence . . . You will appear friendly, approachable, and composed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practise<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, it comes down to this. Speaking fluently and with confidence can be an acquired skill. And what do skills need? Practice, practice, and more practice. It\u2019s the key to mastering anything. Practice that skill often, and you\u2019ll reap the rewards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If there\u2019s an upcoming conversation that you\u2019re anxious to have, such as telling your boss something, asking for a raise or a promotion– or if you\u2019re up for speaking in front of a crowd, then practicing what you\u2019re saying before can make or break your speech. If you can, record yourself to see if you have applied all our tips and tricks and have the pacing, volume, and pauses down. Alright now, are you ready to face the world? This confident tone that you know will kickstart all your dreams. It\u2019s a fact that confident speakers command rooms when they speak, earn respect, and hold authority in the workplace. And now that you\u2019re privy to these surprising secrets, you can be just as powerful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What Is Snapreads?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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With the Snapreads app, you get the key insights from the best nonfiction books in minutes, not hours or days. Our experts transform these books into quick, memorable, easy-to-understand insights you can read when you have the time or listen to them on the go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start Your Free Trial<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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