Does today look exactly like yesterday and the day before? Is your tomorrow likely to play out the same as today? Do you feel stuckand only going through the motions.
Meanwhile, it seems like everyone else is thriving. What can you do to stop feeling like you’re missing out? From physical steps you can take to ways you can change your mindset, here is how you can take charge of your life.
Today, we’re bringing you what to do if you feel life is passing you by. Let’s get started!
being mortal
by Atul Gawande
⏱ 16 minutes reading time
🎧 Audio version available
Write Down Your Ambitions
Ready to change your life but not sure where to start? Don’t worry, we’re going to teach you how to tackle this. The first thing you should is sit down in a quiet environment with a pen and paper. You’re going to break down everything you like and don’t like about your life.
That means you’re going to put into words everything you want to change, everything you want to improve, and everything you want to quit doing.
These goals should be healthy and realistic– this is something we’ll come back to in a minute.
Now, next to each goal, you’re going to add two additional lines: how you’re going to achieve that goal, and when you’re going to achieve it. You’ll find that some goals can be fulfilled quickly and easily, while others take time and effort. You could block a contact from your phone faster than you could save money, for example, or lose weight, or so on.
You’re going to keep these lists as a beacon. They serve as a reminder of everything you want to change and improve on, helping you live up to the potential you know you have.
Struggling to get started on your list? Ask yourself what you want to be and what you currently do in life. What is the difference between them? Allow yourself to dream of the adventures you wish to experience. Ask yourself if the people in your life are supporting you or holding you back.
Who are the kinds of people you want to associate with? Ask yourself what you need to cut out of your life. And lastly, ask yourself what kind of legacy you hope to leave behind. Then, write it all down!
Every day is a New Day
A lot of people put off trying to change their lives because they’re waiting for the “right moment.” But you don’t have to wait until January 1st, your birthday, or a life-changing disaster to take action. Every day is a new beginning, and any day could be the day you push the jumpstart button on your new life.
Think it’s too late to start? Think about this the next time you think that it’s too late to make any sort of meaningful change. Let’s say you want to pursue a degree, but you’re worried that you’re too old, that it’s too late. Well, a year from now, five years from now, you’re going to find yourself in the same position, and still without a degree. Is there any benefit at all to putting it off?
Every day, week, and month that you don’t take action is time wasted.
Do Things That Scare You
People often comment that life is passing them, and the problem is that they’re just sitting back and watching. Chances are they’re not doing a lot of things they would rather not do. But in order to advance, sometimes you have to do things that are extra challenging.
This could be your anxiety tricking you into backing away from something because you’re afraid of failure. So, what’s the solution? Grit your teeth and do the scary thing anyway!
We guarantee that nothing feels quite as good or as satisfying as overcoming a fear. It’s an exhilarating rush completing a challenge– a rush that will make you feel present in the moment. So, think about something that you’ve always wanted to do, but was too afraid to try. Go for it!
Do one thing that scares you, and you’ll find it becomes easier to tackle another, and then another, and hey, you’ve never felt more alive. Take pride in overcoming obstacles.
Be More Active
If a lot of your life consists of waking up groggy, hitting the snooze button on your alarm repeatedly, coming home from work and consistently slumping in front of the TV or computer before going to sleep and repeating it all over again, it’s time to make a change.
Being more active has a never-ending stream of benefits. Adding little more exercise in your life, even if it’s just taking a short walk, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, doing a few push-ups when you wake up, is going to be a life-changer.
Say “Yes” More
If you’re the type of person who always turns things down, then a few aspects of life are bound to pass you by. Constantly turning down invitations to go out, for example, is going to result in people no longer asking you.
Stop looking for excuses and start making it a principle to say, “yes” more often. This is going to make all the difference. You never know, an invitation you accept can turn out to be life changing.
Ditch That Routine
A stagnant life is often an overly routine-filled one. There’s no real change, because you do the same things over and over again. While routines can be healthy, they can also trap you in, essentially, a time loop. Every day looks roughly the same, and each day bleeds into the next, so you end up going through the motions, even if you do things that you typically enjoy.
So shake up that routine, go on a vacation, experience new things. Do whatever you can do to add something exciting to your routine. You don’t necessarily have to go on a lavish, exotic holiday to mix up your routine. But you can do things like waking up a little earlier, take a chance more often, and do things that aren’t in your everyday routine– all of this can lead to your perception of time being longer than usual, allowing you to take advantage of it!
Find What’s Holding You Back
Before you take action to change your life, consider rooting out what has been holding you back or holding you in place all this time. Your life may have been stagnant for a plethora of reasons, but the following causes may ring true for you.
For starters, one of the most common reasons why people feel stuck is because they’ve spent so much time allowing others to dictate how their lives should go. You may have allowed others, and their wants and needs, to have more priority than your own wishes. You have to realize that living for others and putting your life on pause is no way to live– life will just pass you by.
You may feel like life is passing you by because you’re a perfectionist. You’ll find that, at the end of the day, you’re holding yourself back. If you’re always aiming for the sky, for unreachable goals, unrealistic standards, and unattainable dreams, you’ll miss out on so many opportunities.
This may also mean that the successes you do have may feel like failures, because you’re focusing on what you didn’t manage instead of all that you have.
Fear plays a dramatic role in holding people back. Fear of failure, most often. It’s because of a fear of failure that you give up before you really start trying. This anxiety, this fear of failure, is very contradictory. It’s counter-intuitive, making you work against yourself. At this point, it’s not just a fight or flight instinct anymore. It’s more of a ‘hide until the scary thing leaves’ reaction.
There’s No Right Way
The next time you feel like you’re not doing enough, not accomplishing enough, or generally don’t feel good, remember that there truly is no right way to start living. This toxic mindset is rooted in comparing your lives to others– your friends, family, co-workers, old schoolmates.
You start feeling inadequate, which is a vicious cycle, until you break out of it. The truth is that everyone has a different path and pace in life, so you shouldn’t compare your journey to someone else’s.
At the end of the day, is it really important to be the first one to accomplish something? Is it really important to accomplish what others are already accomplishing?
If you want a sure-fire way to feel like the best parts of life are getting away from you, compare yourself to others. Your own fulfilment and happiness should be your goals, not someone else’s version of them.
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