A lot of people think that being attractive is synonymous with being good-looking. The reality is that while being blessed with significant genes plays a role in attractiveness, many things can make you look–and feel–more attractive.
Welcome to Snapreads. Today, we will take a glance at the ultimate attraction strategy that will help you become more attractive.
by Robert Cialdini
⏱ 16 minutes reading time
🎧 Audio version available
Have A Good Sense Of Humor
Life is filled with ups and downs, so taking life too seriously is undoubtedly not the way to go. This is why a sense of humor is a vital skill capable of bringing people together and strengthening their bonds. It’s practically guaranteed that if you ask anyone what’s the most important quality that they look for in a potential partner, their answer, 99% of the time, will be that they look for someone with a great sense of humor that can make them laugh when life gets too tough.
Having a sense of humor is excellent most of the time, but one thing to always keep in mind is that there’s a fine line between being funny and having an offensive sense of humor. Humorous people know when to joke and when to keep those jokes to themselves. Offending everyone around for the sake of being funny is not a very attractive look.
Hang out with attractive people
This next tip focuses more on who you hang out with instead of tips that can boost your confidence level. It might seem common sense to think that hanging out with people less attractive than you will guarantee to make other people see you as more attractive in comparison. In reality, it’s the complete opposite of that. In fact, it’s a phenomenon that science has named the cheerleader effect.
Two psychologists by the name of Drew Walker and Edward Vul coined this phenomenon after conducting an experiment that involved 100 individuals. They showed their individual photos to participants and asked them to rate these photos before showing them pictures of the same individuals, but this time, in group pictures.
The individuals in group pictures received a much higher score than in their solo photos. This happens because our brains average out all the faces in a group, making less attractive group members appear more attractive.
Sometimes life indeed gets all too difficult, and all you want to do is complain about it–which is entirely understandable. But, complaining frequently is an unattractive trait, and it gets to the point where it’s exhausting to be around people who complain.
More often than not, people who complain don’t want to hear other people’s solutions; they want to complain for the sake of it. Not only is complaining considered unattractive, but it also tends to attract more things to complain about, and you will be stuck in a cycle that never ends. Additionally, people don’t like to be around others who foster a negative attitude all the time.
Wear makeup — but not too much
While makeup is a powerful tool that can enhance your beauty, some women tend to overdo it. According to a study, women who wear a more natural look with minimal makeup are more attractive than women who wear dramatic makeup looks with bold and bright colors. Before you apply layers of makeup, find out what works best for you–and most importantly, do what makes you feel confident and sexy.
Ditch Your Reading Glasses
There’s no denying that there are things besides appearance that would make a person more attractive. However, according to science, you can change the way people see you by doing something as simple as ditching your reading glasses.
A German study took place in 2011 where a scientist connected the missing link between attractiveness and reading glasses. He studied three groups of people; people who don’t wear glasses, people who wear thick-framed glasses, and people who wear frameless glasses–and the results were downright shocking.
Individuals who wore thick-framed glasses were thought of as successful and smart people. But, these individuals weren’t seen as trustworthy, likable, nor attractive. As for people with frameless glasses, their likeability score was much higher than the former, but they weren’t also seen as attractive. People who didn’t wear any glasses are the ones who ticked the boxes of attractiveness and the most likable out of the bunch.
Smile More, Or Not At All
Smiling is something that’s considered a secret weapon that you can use to your advantage. Yet, there isn’t enough stress about how smiling makes a real difference in attractiveness. Just like the previous tip, this one has also got scientific research that backs it.
The researchers took photos of people displaying different emotions and asked participants to rate the people in the pictures in terms of attractiveness. Interestingly enough, they rated women who had a smile on their face the highest. But, as for men, the results took more of a shocking turn. They rated men who looked brooding or had a gloomy expression plastered on their faces the highest.
Don’t Be Close-Minded
Being close-minded isn’t just about not accepting others’ differences; it’s more about thinking that your thoughts and opinions are more valid while others’ views are not as important as yours. It’s fair to say that being close-minded is one of the most unattractive traits that a person can possess. To put things into perspective, imagine if you were giving your loved one a piece of advice, pouring your heart and soul into words only to have them shrug off your opinion and walk away as if your advice didn’t matter. It feels terrible, doesn’t it?
This is precisely why being close-minded is a huge turn-off. On the other hand, being open-minded can and will make you more attractive. To be open-minded is to leave judgment and prejudice on the side and accept everyone for who they are–and to reach that level of wisdom takes a person who’s got a good head on their shoulders.
Maintain Eye Contact When You Talk
We have all experienced moments where we look into a stranger’s eyes for a few seconds and feel as if there’s an invisible string that’s pulling us towards those strangers.
The famous quote by William Shakespeare,
‘The Eyes are the window to your soul,’
was said for a reason; the eyes indeed show every emotion that a person feels, so the eyes are one of the essential communication tools people can have. When you look someone in the eye and maintain that eye contact, they will know that you’re paying full attention to what they say. You will make them feel valued and appreciated, which in return will make them see you as an attractive individual.
Talk With Purpose
It’s safe to say that talking with a purpose is one of the most attractive things in an individual. In certain situations, it’s not okay to talk whenever you want and say what you want–that’s nearly all meaningless talk. But, when you only speak with purpose, you will find that every word you say is well-received.
We all have experienced situations where, for example, we keep asking someone to do something for us, and that person always ignores our request or has other priorities. Then, another person comes along, asks for the same thing, and has it granted in no time. The difference lies in how the communication is received for each person.
While awkward moments exist in almost any conversation, you have to resist the urge to fill them with awkward giggles and filler words that have no purpose. Focus on making every word that escapes your lips have a purpose or powerful meaning, and you will notice how attentive people are to you. Honor your words and never feel pressured to speak if you don’t want to. And when you speak, take your time to think and formulate your words and speak with authority.
Don’t Pretend That You’re Someone Else
People who pretend that they’re something of importance are not often doing it because they lack self-confidence or think that they have to change themselves and have a personality molded by other people. It gets to a point where pretending to be someone you are not can become second nature causing them to lose track of who they really are.
People will like you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. Just be authentic and honest. It’s an actual fact that nobody’s perfect, and the right people will accept you with all your flaws and imperfections.
It’s extremely attractive when people know that they have imperfections yet, don’t hide them. They acknowledge that it’s okay not to be perfect and make mistakes and that you don’t have to be fake to be likable.
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