How to Transform Your Life Without Spending a Fortune on Coaching

The 5 Second Rule

by Mel Robbins

⏱ 16 minutes reading time

🎧 Audio version available

The First Step: Self Awareness

Now, what does a real-life coach do? They’re a lot like sports coaches.

They are someone who helps you identify your goals, strengths, and weaknesses. They then help you overcome obstacles holding you back. A life coach will help you develop a plan after finding out what you want and how they can bridge that gap.

Right now, you don’t have a coach to ask you questions and prompt the answers out of you. You need to have some self-awareness. Think of this as a moment to audit yourself.

Starting from today, carve out some time for yourself, a time that’s free from any interruption or distraction, and look at your life. This will be a full audit of who you are. Weigh your strengths, your weaknesses– be as detailed as you want, but don’t be too hard on yourself.

Take a review of your life based on your current situation. Are you comfortable with the way things are? Where do you want to make changes?

The Second Step: Write It Down

Even life coaches need a filing system and notebook to remember things and to set strategies. You’re now your own life coach, and it’s time to write down what you want.

After the self-evaluation, write down your intentions, your plans. This will be only for the short-term, and it should be as reasonable as possible. This step is important, and it’s incredibly important to do it right.

Being unrealistic in planning out your intentions won’t work out. It will come back to you in a negative way, and you can easily take comfort in old, bad habits because you have failed in achieving those unreasonable goals.

Write down who you intend to become, and specify what you don’t want.

The Third Step: Develop SMART Goals

The third step in this 30-day process is setting goals, goals that guarantee the maximum positive impact.

This goal development, when it’s consistent, does wonders for improving self-esteem. This is an ongoing step, not just one you perform at the beginning of your journey. Regularly creating and accomplishing objectives is the key to feeling fulfilled and changing your life for the better.

Not sure where you should start? Your goals should be SMART.

Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Time-Specific.

These goals can be for the short-term, or they can be for the long haul. Change can start happening earlier than 30 days, but don’t be discouraged if it takes longer. What matters is putting your heart and effort into it.

Thirty days mark a reasonable amount of time to set and accomplish your goals. And because you wrote them down yourself, these goals should be achievable.

They’re going to be the ones who cause the biggest positive impact.

Step Away From Unhealthy Relationship

Transforming your life in 30 days isn’t just setting goals and checking them off. We want you to have a happy life, one that brings you joy and excitement, and keeping unhealthy relationships? That’s holding your progress back.

Thirty days is a sufficient amount of time to end unhealthy relationships. In that month, you have accepted that you’re responsible for your own well-being and happiness. When you think about where your life’s unhappiness or insecurities is coming from, sometimes that direction can be from a close friend or family member.

If you surround yourself with negative energy, people who don’t believe in you, who mock your progress, you’ll never realize your full potential. If someone in your life constantly degrades you and makes you feel weak, end that relationship or distance yourself from that toxic person.

Optimize Your Diet

Eating habits are one of the most difficult things to change. But you don’t need a life coach. You may need a nutrition doctor, but everyone knows deep down what’s wrong with their diet. Your food habits are not only unhealthy for your body, but they’re affecting your mind, sleep quality, and more. Most people’s average diets consist largely of processed foods. While these food items are convenient and even cost-efficient, they do more harm than good.

They cause weight gain, brain fog, and lethargy. People who want to change their lives for the better should focus on optimizing their diets and food habits.

Keep a Journal

You need somewhere to mark down all your thoughts and progress. Once you make the monumental decision to be the master of your own destiny, then going to the nearest store and picking up a journal is the next step.

This journal is where you can vent all your negative emotions, all your victories– no matter how small or big– in a way that does no harm to yourself or those around you.

People often reach a deeper understanding of self-knowledge through this. Journals allow you to discuss your feelings, thoughts, and emotions that you may not feel comfortable sharing out loud– even if you had someone coaching you through this.

And here’s a bonus! Since journaling is a writing enterprise, it can optimize your cognitive processes. Before those 30 days pass, you’ll find yourself constantly thinking in ways that are more creative and critical.

Cut Down On Social Media and TV

Those who watch more than three hours of TV each day are more likely to perform poorly on cognitive tests. If you want to change your life, stepping down from screens is a crucial step.

Your prefrontal cortex activity decreases when you watch TV. All those parts in your brain that are responsible for self-control, concentration, and decision making? They’re hindered by TV consumption. Giving up on all that screen time has a wide range of effects, including having a calmer way of thought and less negative emotions.

There is a reason why billionaires are known to rarely watch TV. Billionaires are the masters of self-control and discipline. If they have any free time, they either spend it on something productive or pick up something to read. Detective novels are a preference. Wealthy people, in general, are known only to watch TV for an hour or less per day.

Make a To-Do List

To-do lists somehow still don’t receive enough credit. They’re one of the most important tools you can wield in your journey towards a transformed life. Make it a daily habit to make a to-do list.
This strategy has had its praises sung by millions. It helps you become more organized in both your personal and professional life.

A to-do list helps you map out which activities during the day are the most important. They then allow you to prioritize tasks and tackle the most important first. And the best thing about them? They allow you to physically tick off tasks once you have accomplished something, which will never fail to give a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Start Saying “I Want.”

Instead of starting a sentence with “I should,” switch your phrasing to “I want.” What this does is change your intention and make you more likely to follow through with your goals.

The next time you want to say, “I should go to the gym tomorrow,” say, “I want to go to the gym tomorrow.” You’ll see how different it feels.

Have a Good Relationship With Your Pain

This seems like something that shouldn’t have a place on your self-improvement journey, but developing a good relationship with pain and your suffering is important. Whether you’re experiencing mental, financial, or spiritual pain, anxiety, and whatever makes you feel down, a positive relationship with suffering is important.

The point of this is not to get rid of any of them. They’re not bad emotions, and they’re something you have to deal with. Instead of ignoring them or scolding yourself when you fixated on them, embrace that pain, harness it, and leverage it to work for you.

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